Taking Ryan Out of the Game

Sometimes I base my decisions too much on what other people say. I think that my first instinct should be what I should go with. But, as I said, sometimes I rely on what other people tell me to do.

Many people know Ryan Nelson. Ryan was born with cerebral palsy, but he has never let it slow him down. In fact, he played baseball in the summer league here in McLeansboro, Illinois. I happened to be one of his coaches, and I consider it a great experience.

Our summer league program allowed us to pick our players in a draft each year. Ryan was one of the players I picked on my team. I was very familiar with Ryan because I was a local school teacher. So, I had seen Ryan grow up here in McLeansboro.

We had several practices before the season began, and I always pitched batting practice to my players. For some reason, I hit Ryan with many more pitches than anyone else on the team. He took it in stride every time and he never complained.

It was during one of our games that summer that I made a decision that I have regretted for the rest of my life. Ryan was up to bat, and it was always a struggle for him to hit the ball. But, what he lacked in ability, he made up for with determination. His speed around the bases was hampered by his cerebral palsy, but he could get around the bases.

Ryan was rarely able to get on base, however on this occasion he was about to be walked by one of the best pitchers in the league. As ball four was called, the coach on the other team looked at me and said, "You're going to pinch run for him aren't you?" I looked at him and said no. I had every intention of letting Ryan stay in the game to run the bases because he almost never experienced it. The coach looked at me again and said, "You need to take him out before he gets hurt." So, I made a snap decision and took him out of the game.

Ryan sat on the bench and cried. He was crushed and I was, too. But, the damage had already been done. Then guess what happened in the game. The pitcher proceeded to walk, unintentionally, the next three hitters. If Ryan had stayed in the game, he would have casually walked around the bases and scored. I felt like every eye in the crowd was on me during all of this. I was so upset, I just glared at the other coach.

Ryan's parents never said a word to me about this. And until just a few years ago, Ryan and I never spoke of this experience that I have felt total shame about. I have mentioned it a few times to Ryan and have apologized profusely each time we discuss it.

Ryan has become quite a writer and a great individual as he has grown older. He just chalked the experience up as something he had to get through in his lifetime of dealing with cerebral palsy. He has written many short stories about his experiences with his disability, and I think he has included the one about when I took him out of the game.

I have made many wrong decisions in my life and this was one of them that I wish I could turn back the clock and change.